I’m always for celebrations, until it comes to my birthday. It’s so weird. I’m an event planner by occupation and though I love experiences, when it comes to the experience of my own celebration…I really could not be bothered.

Shawntel Asemota

There’s too much anxiety associated with trying to get all your friends and family together to celebrate you. Maybe it’s because I believe too much that people don’t care enough or that I lack faith in people’s commitment to me as their friend. I don’t know.

My last birthday celebration was at 28. I hated it. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do and constantly changed my mind. When I finally made the decision to do something, I cried on my way to the celebration. I wasn’t feeling my birthday at all. I wasn’t feeling getting older at all and it has everything to do with the fear of the unknown. I can honestly say that I could see my life clearly up until the age of maybe 25. I knew that I was going to go to college. I had no doubt that I would graduate with honors. I knew that whatever I chose to do; whether join the work force or start my own business or find a place nice enough to settle at for a while, I would be okay and it would be my decision.

My life plans changed. Though I found a job right out of college, it just wasn’t for me. Months after graduating, I got into an accident with an 18 wheeler and not only lived to tell about it, but honestly can only credit God with the fact that I am still here. Every year I get older, it’s a nod to that night I shouldn’t have come home.

I turned 29 on the 8th of February and I am nowhere near clear on what direction to go. If anything, I often feel directionless and lost. Though I have an idea of the definites in my life, I have no idea how I plan to prepare for the next decade of my life. I welcomed 29 with a shrug…you can’t stop getting older. You can’t stop the inevitable all you can do is live life and hope it keeps you fulfilled.

Instead of celebrating my birthday with fanfare and cake and gifts and parties with friends, I worked. I finished up tasks and tied up loose ends. I cleared as much off my plate as absolutely possible so that going forward I could finally have the clarity that I was seeking.

And that’s what I want for 29.

If I spent the majority of my 20s trying to follow this plan I thought I had for my life just to cry about it on my 28th birthday, I want to spend the remainder of this 20th age of life clearing my plate and making a way for the next decade. I want to spend it reflecting on the good, learning from the bad, hopeful for the future and happy for the unknown instead of cringing from it.

I know 30 has it’s own adventures: mortgage, kids, family, business growth and you know what? I’m excited for it. I don’t want to spend another birthday sad because it’s not what I expected. I want to celebrate the fact that I’ve been allowed another year to try out this thing called life. It doesn’t always have to be with a bunch of fanfare, but it will always be with gratitude because at the end of the day, that’s all the Universe want’s from us anyway.

So here’s to 29. May it bring me hope, focus, clarity, more happiness, opportunity, continued love, and support and relinquish the fear of the unknown and the need for control.

I welcome you 30, let’s do this.



Inspired Thoughts: What Drives You?


What drives you?

What is the mantra by which you live your day-to-day life? What is it that pushes you to do one last thing on your daily to do list? What opportunities are you being open for? What strides are you making to accomplish your goals? What history are you making?

It’s been a minute since I last wrote here…over two months to be exact. And it’s not necessarily that I haven’t had anything to write about or that my life has been boring, quite the opposite actually.

I’ve accomplished more in the last two months personally and professional than some years combined. (more to blog soon)

Since February 14th, I’ve got an apprentice. She doubles as my assistant, but feels like a baby step sister…. I’ve managed a major and historical event in Alabama, experienced SxSW, and took my company bi-coastal to Hollywood. I’ve met civil rights leaders, been in the same room with a president, and partied with rappers, not to mention the extremely inspiring and motivating people who I’ve come across.


Before this year came in, I set my intention to earn my success abundantly and have the energy, focus, insight, support, and assistance to receive it. I was driven by the need to grow my business and experience growth in myself. I want to look back a year from now and know without a doubt that all the seeds I planted, all the plants I watered, all the prayers I’ve prayed and all the relationships I cultivated moved me even closer to my overall goals. That they returned back to me bountifully.

What’s been driving me? The opportunity to receive bigger and better opportunities that will not only help me but will help all the people in my life. What drives me is being able to truly hire my apprentice and to pick up the check at dinner and to pay all my bills with more than plenty left over…to be able to take an amazing adventure with my husband and not worry about being able to afford it. What drives me is to be able to tell my mom she doesn’t have to work every day if she doesn’t want to. I’m driven by being a blessing to others and inspiring them to bless others.

What drives you?

Your answer to that will determine your future.

What drives you-soa-quote

Inspired Thoughts: Time


Went to the bank the other day and saw an elderly gentleman slowly make his way towards the door with his walking stick in tow. I held the door for him and smiled. He looked at me, a bit of a surprise in his eyes and smiled as he gracefully entered the bank while joking with me about the awful weather.

I quickly walked past him once I made it in since I had a meeting to get to. One of the bank assistants asked him, “how are you doing today sir?” I could hear behind me. To which he responded, without missing a beat, “I’m above ground and taking names!” I chuckled as I overheard his honest statement.

I take my place in line behind a handsome Latino stranger. I could hear the old man’s walking stick behind me. The teller asks for the next person, my handsome companion encouraged the old man to go in front of us, but turned to me to make sure it was okay. I smiled and nodded my head with an “of course!”

My handsome Latin friend says, “I’m not in a hurry, sir,  you can go ahead.”

My elderly muse makes his way to the front of the line to handle his financial business and I just stand there and admire him.

It was at that moment that I realized the universe was telling me the importance of slowing down, enjoying life, and being in the moment.

This man had to be pushing 80+, but even with his advanced experience on me he was more full of life than some of the 20 year olds I knew.

That’s the funny thing about life.

96724309_985b8acd3f_zWhen you think you have a lot of it, you take each day for granted, hurriedly trying to get through each day as if it’s some grueling ritual. But when you realize your days are limited; each day is a new experience, each moment a treasure. You value the people in your life more. A hug goes from a quick touch to a lasting embrace.

In a world where everything is instant and rapid and moving at the speed of light, we forget to slow down. To smell the roses and taste the champagne.

As I voyeured into this elderly man’s world, admiring him, I realized how much I’ve forgotten to slow down. I’ve been so consumed by my own goals of success that I started to alienate some great friends…simply because our lives were no longer convenient for each other. Where in the blink of an eye, best friends become strangers, people you knew are now people you used to know, and peers became enemies.

Just slow down…at least some of the time.

People think they’re losing time and try to move faster and faster, but you don’t lose time by speeding it up. You lose time when you don’t experience it.

Inspired Thoughts-Time quote-soainspired