What I’ve Learned About Marriage–so far

What I learned about marriage so far via SOAinspire photo by Events by SPL
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Today is my two year wedding anniversary.

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The day that we celebrated the union of two families, two people, two hearts coming together.

The day that signified the beginning of our lives together…our covenant to each other.What I learned about marriage so far via SOAinspire photo by Events by SPL

To say that it was a journey just getting here to two years would be an understatement, but we’ve arrived. Can I say that we’ll stay together forever? Only the Lord knows, but what I can say is that I’ve learned to cherish every year that we make it; that we’ve learned more and more about each other; that we decided to look past our faults and our flaws to love one another unconditionally; and that it is worth celebrating.

It’s hard sometimes to explain to someone who has never been married what it’s like to be married when their only references to it are Disney movies, romantic comedies, and dramas or the constant fear of divorce because it’s all of that and more rolled into one.

When Hubby and I got married, we were 10 years into our relationship, but nothing beats Year One of marriage. I’d love to say that our first year of marriage was filled with little “newlywed moments,” but that would be a lie. It was hard.

Events by SPL

Two people coming together from two totally different familial backgrounds (he grew up with two parents in the household, she did not; he’s a Gemini, she’s an Aquarius; he never had a sibling, she’s the oldest of three), with strong personalities, who see things differently, and are two completely different people. How could we ever have expected that everyday would be sunshine and rainbows?

Year One was tough. We had to learn for ourselves what our marriage was. We had to define for ourselves what our marriage was going to be. We have to come together every day to make the decision to be married on our own terms and not on our parents, not on society’s, not on the media’s or our friends’ or our peers’…OURS!

What I have learned about marriage…thus far is that…

Love is a roller coaster.

It has it’s ups and downs.

It has it’s highs and lows.

When things are good and your love is high, you literally feel like that…high. You feel overwhelmingly, totally consuming, almost suffocatingly in love with them. And that shit’s scary.

When things are bad and your love is low, you feel completely out of control. You feel that drop in the pit of your stomach. You wonder, constantly, if this is what you want. And it’s incredibly inspiring.

It’s those lows that have made me appreciate the highs and want more of them. It is those lows that have made me face by worst inner demons to come to the realization that I may be me, but I am now a half of a greater whole…and that’s okay.

I’ve learned to appreciate the lows for what they are…learning lessons. Opportunities for growth. Mistakes to learn from and celebrate the highs.

I’ve learned that my relationship will never be like Carrie and Big’s because it’s Shawntel and Jerry’s, but Carrie was on to something when she said,

“Take tradition and decorate it your own way. Think of it like the woman in Abu Dhabi, or like the movies in black and white, relationships come in a range of colors and options”

Love is like a roller coaster, full of ups and downs. We can either be afraid that’s we’ll fall off and get hurt or lose control or we can enjoy the ride and celebrate the moment.

But what I have learned about marriage is that it’s a blank canvas. You can either let others paint the picture for you based on their experiences or you two can come together, create your own experience and paint your own picture…


 

Wedding photos taken by Kunal Mehta of Events by SPL.

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2 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned About Marriage–so far

  1. Love this post. I agree marriage is hard, but it’s worth it. My first two years made me question myself a lot, but coming up on year 4 I can feel much more confident in my decision. Happy Anniversary you two are a beautiful couple and the chemistry from what I seen is amazing 🙂

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