I got the opportunity to speak candidly to a small group of teenage girls at the YMCA Teen Development Center. They asked me questions that ranged from why are teachers so overbearing to how to talk to their parents to (of course) boys.
One girl in particular asked me how do you know if a boy really loves you or if he’s just saying it to “get with you?” I sat and pondered. I remembered these questions. I remembered those feelings. I remembered the confusion.
I said to her, “listen. Girls mature mentally much faster than boys, so we will always feel like mentally we are ready for someone. Boys, however, mature sexually faster than girls. At this point in the game, he’s literally only thinking about how we can get in your pants. You have so much time to fall and be in love. Just enjoy what it means to be a teenager. And honestly, if he loved you, he wouldn’t pressure you to do anything you weren’t ready for. If a guy loves you, he will do everything in his power to help you be better.”
Naturally, on this day, so soaked in love and with love, I sit here pondering about it. Love seems to have so many definitions and often gets lost in translation. My husband once asked me what love was and I said to him
Love is knowing someone’s flaws and wanting to be with them and better them despite…
Love is knowing and seeing someone’s flaws and wanting to still be there because you want to be a part of the catalyst that betters them. We get so selfish that we fail to put ourselves aside for the next person. We stop being aware of their perfect imperfections and never fully accept them for who they really are.
Nirvana ie LOVE is acceptance…totally.
Total and unconditional LOVE is nirvana.
But the process of getting to love is the reason why most people never reach nirvana in their relationships.
So as we focus on this one day out of 365 to showcase our love, let the other 364 days be our chance to see our significant other’s flaws and learn to accept them and love them totally for their flaws and all.